Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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