Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
