Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
