some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
