The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize