we have officially lost it.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
