He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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