): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
