I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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