I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
