are you still at the devil's house?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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