$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
