Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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