Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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