remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Don't make out with my wife yet
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
