i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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