If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
