i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
FUCK WHALES
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
