I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
