He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
