I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I fill condoms, not promises.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
