GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
