I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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