We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
