I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
