is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
