He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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