: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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