Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
