So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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