So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
