Whod you bang
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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