I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
