Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize