finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize