So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
