I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
