I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize