i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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