i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize