we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
