And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
