dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize