Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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