I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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