I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she smelled like a LAN party
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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