i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
