Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
