I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
