do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just gargled with NyQuil
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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