With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
