Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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