My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
