I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
