Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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