Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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