I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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