life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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