Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
