He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
