I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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