didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
