Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
