Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
